Divided We Stand, United We Fall

I started today on the right foot, which is the left foot. After a few rousing rounds of the hokey pokey, I got down to the real business of today. I ate 5 hot dogs and took a bite out of a yellow onion, taking my best crow hop and pitching the remainder of the onion into the basement wall like an underground Cy Young. The onion exploded into a smashed set of concentric cellulose layers. Immediately afterward, I reached into the freezer to put a heaping scoop of crushed ice down my pants, like I do every day at this time. There are tons of wives' tale type remedies out there for cut onions burning the eyes, but if you have the knowledge that I have, you know that 1-2 cups of crushed ice applied directly to the groin cures this condition immediately.

I also wanted to thank the readership for making this blog what is is. The message is getting out there! We're also up to about 100 unique views per day, meaning that hundreds of people have taken off their rosy colored glasses, left behind their ivory towers and let slip the dogs of war against the one world government. The sound track of sizzling hot dogs is our victory march, and we shall not relent until every last man, every last woman, and every child is freed from the grasp of the governments that seek to break their will and crush their reproductive organs.

We shall stand divided against the government and their mind control schemes (link). If we present the united front, we are but a bunch of sheep, easily corraled and shorn of our beliefs. If you'll excuse me, I am going to roll myself up in a coracle fishing net and sleep in the cabinets under the hot plate.