Marinating on Greatness

I sat down today with a singular goal: to realize how great I am. I sat in one place today, staring at the wall, trying to think of something I didn't know. I couldn't think of anything I didn't know. Everything I know, I know. There's nothing I know that I don't. I starting asking myself questions, and I knew the answers to all of them. Then I realized there must be a flaw. Maybe I couldn't ask myself questions I didn't know the answers to. But oh, dear reader, I bet you thought that was a hole in my reasoning. Your assumption that I wouldn't take this into consideration proves that I'm always one step ahead. I started looking up information to quiz myself on. I found that even when I didn't know, I could know, and found out (potential for knowledge is just as good as knowledge.) It was amazing, and all the amazingness made me hungry.


You'd think that's where my productive day ended. But that would make your SECOND false assumption this blog. I ordered chinese food. It came in thirty minutes. I will post an analysis of all the chinese food delivery places in my area soon, but I'll save that for another blog. Right now it's not so important what I ate. I ate egg roll for strength. Egg Roll is also important because it's the eastern dollar menu. there's not much you can get for a dollar anymore, unless you're paying a dollar worth of gold. The egg roll was good. Immediately I felt like I could do Tae Kwon Do. I finished my Egg Roll, but that's not where the chinese food ends. You forgot the fortune cookie, but I didn't. I opened my fortune cookie and ate it. Looking down, I read my fortune cookie, and to my surprise, it said:

YOU WILL BE HUNGRY AGAIN SOON, ORDER MORE CHINESE FOOD.

I was skeptical, but, in the east they have a different perspective, and chinese food has been around for 5000 years (100 times longer than Social Security!!) so they must be doing something right, and if they evolved into fortune cookies, maybe there's some merit to it.

I sat and waited. An hour later. I was hungry. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I walked to the chinese place and ordered more food. I ended up in a conversation with the man there, asking him about the history of fortune cookies. He was cryptic and noncommital. He kept speaking in short sentences that were hard to understand. I knew I was onto something, because he wouldn't give me the information necessary. He kept trying to give me fortune cookies and smiling politely. I was shocked. I almost believed he didn't fully understand me, that's how good he was at hiding the secret to fortune cookies!

I went home, even more determined, and did some research online. "There must be some way I can tap into this eastern knowledge" I thought. My intellectual rigor was awarded when I found this site: http://www.myluckyfortune.com/
You can custom create chinese fortune cookies!!! I custom ordered 200, at ten cents each (they didn't even ask for ten cents of gold!), a small price to pay for controlling the future. Wait til you see what the future holds now. It's going to be crazy. and smart.