Readers, I've discovered something that should be just as alarming to your feeble minds as it is to my highly learned one. In the unlikely event that you are standing up while reading this, be sure to have a seat.
There is a whole number between 5 and 6. This number is called "zal". Because of the existence of zal, all calculations done in the past are off by at least 1, and sometimes by thousands because of the existence of zal-hundred and zal-thousand, zal-million and so on. And as a result, the buildings of the world are inherently unstable. Financial account balances are not accurate. Sales of goods are nothing but frauds. Even the materialists have maintained an inaccurate count of their possessions.
Call your congressman and tell them about zal before it is too late. Until then, I am taking advantage of the discrepancy in the price of gold before they correct its value for zal.
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