Bigger than Jesus...

I am the greatest person you will ever meet.
And you don't even know if you've met me.
Which makes me the greatest person you might/might have meet/met.
Which makes me greater than God.
Which proves that the existence YOU believe in is false.

I know what I'm doing

There is a lot of hubbub surrounding the coming presidential election. When an educated reader like yourself, whose intellect pales in comparison to mine, evaluates the prospects for president, you probably see two fairly opposite candidates vying for your attention. This is because you cannot see the forest for the trees.

Let me explain something that as of yet is unknown to the public and perhaps even the candidates themselves. McCain and Obama are the same person. I know what you're thinking. Sure, they're all parts of the same corrupted system of whores and prevaricators. That's true too. But, the sick, burrowing weasel-hole goes much deeper than this. They share the same numerical identity.

That is right, reader. They are actually the same person. McCain and Obama are numerically identical in the way that Superman and Clark Kent are the same person. Only that neither candidate is magnanimous, and both are foul conjurers who cook fetid cakes out of the world's misery and thrust it into our face like the night soil that it is.

Both are the same, and both devils are rebuked in the name of Jesus.

Criss Angel: minddouche

All I know is that I know nothing- Socrates

I am not a know-nothing- Abraham Lincoln


I know that Socrates is right and Lincoln is wrong. Therefore I am smarter than Socrates.

Secure

I am fucking insane, I am not as smart as I think I am and whoever is writing this knows that.

"Your reaction is bizarre and you are so fucked up."

Come to think of it, I hope there is some humor in all of this.

Onanism

The door is stuck and I can't get out.

The Gas Crisis

In 1973 the first American oil crisis was underway. Men struggled to stay afloat. Most people were not economically viable. But, I was already a millionaire, many times over. The average person is so far distant from their survival skills that the smallest flux in the variables of life sinks them.

I spent the 70s with unfiltered cigarettes and overproof liquor. My neighbor complained about the hookers until I killed and ate his dog. It tasted like gamey, wet cardboard, even after I cooked it over the coals of my oil drum barbecue. Then I took the bones and made a statue of it in my garage. Sometimes I burn a candle under it for all the hookers who didn't deserve it, and for those who did. I tighten my belt for the priests and the womanizers, for the addicts and the adrift.

The masters of our destiny have been preparing since then. Like me. The future slaves are those who have not prepared. It is they who will need to take from those who have prepared when the comedown comes. And so too will their plowshares be made into swords and I will scramble the yolks of their babies into a great omelette for the ages.

NASA

I can't go to hawaii; I'm not an astronaut.

Sex or extra art xeroxes?

Mankind must come to the realization that things are the same backwards and forwards. Just as the big bang created all the matter in the universe from the big nothing that preceded it, so too will a great suck reduce us all to the singularity. The one consciousness, the single solid.

When we are born, we are destroyed. The man seeking defeat finds success because in defeat he succeeds. Through our attempts to improve, we become inherently vitiated. Just as the fish swim, so too do they drown.

To simplify this for the readership, think of putting water into a cup. Then imagine shooting the water from the cup back up into the faucet. It is the same as the original action. It is not distracted. It is as single-minded and powerful as a course of action as possible.

This is the way of all things.