Short and Sweet

The wise man and the foolish man were walking one day. The wise man said to the foolish man, "It has been said that either you are part of the solution or you are part of the problem. The irony of this, of course, is that both diametrically opposed parties in a conflict believe themselves to be part of the solution and the opposed party to be part of the problem. Therefore, it easy to imagine the root of all conflict arising from this. But, the conflict does not actually arise from this. I have the true root from which all conflict arises is in my backyard. It is a rutabaga. Sometimes I drink 2% milk and urinate on it."

The foolish man stopped and gave a look of bewilderment to the wise man. The wise man then exclaimed, "I am a master topiary sculptor," and he deftly cut off the foolish man's penis with pruning shears. So goes the story of the wise man and the foolish man.